The Alvin Greene Story: A Post-Mortem of the S.C. Democratic Party

It appears that former U.S. Senate candidate Alvin Greene's 15 minutes of fame are up. After predictably losing big-time to tea party leader Jim DeMint and embarrassing the state Democratic Party enough to force a change in management, the unemployed and criminally-indicted Army dropout will surely, finally recede back into anonymity... Right?

Maybe not. At Greene's "victory" party Tuesday night, the defeated challenger's supporters were outnumbered by members of the media, who did their best to provoke the latest absurd statement from a candidate who has unintentionally inspired hours of late-night monologue material and teevee news kickers. True to self, Greene pranced sheepishly around the reporters before revealing a comic book starring himself as a super-hero.

Yep, you read that right -- from the man who proposed ending the recession by producing action figures of himself, now comes the depiction of an Alvin Greene who can take on the Incredible Hulk, and was only trying to help that USC student write an oncology term paper. Seriously, read it for yourself.

Attention, Christine O'Donnell: They're not laughing with you

Delaware tea party Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell seemed to be the only person in attendance at Tuesday's debate who didn't know that the audience was laughing at her, not with her, as she went after Democratic opponent Chris Coons on evolution and separation of church and state.

O'Donnell, trying to close a double-digit gap in polls over the next two weeks before the election, was intent on trapping Coons in a "gotcha" moment to show off his supposed lack of constitutional understanding. So intent, it seems, that she ended up displaying her own far greater misunderstanding instead:

Coons said private and parochial schools are free to teach creationism but that "religious doctrine doesn't belong in our public schools." "Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?" O'Donnell asked him. When Coons responded that the First Amendment bars Congress from making laws respecting the establishment of religion, O'Donnell asked: "You're telling me that's in the First Amendment?"

Jimmy McMillan of the Rent Is 2 Damn High Party: Reincarnation of Theodore Roosevelt?

New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan burst onto the national political scene this week after clips of his debate appearance Monday night went viral. McMillan is founder and apparent CEO of the "Rent Is 2 Damn High Party," and most of his talking points during the debate seemed focused around the general idea that rent in New York City is, well, too damn high.

The first thing I noticed about McMillan was how ready-made he seems for a Saturday Night Live skit starring Kenan Thompson. The folks at 30 Rock wouldn't even have to write much; Thompson could simply recite a bunch of actual quotes, like Tina Fey did in her brilliant Sarah Palin sketch. The second thing I noticed was McMillan's distinct similarity to former President Theodore Roosevelt. Stay with me here.

Joe Miller's private security team handcuffs journalist

The bizarre Alaska Senate race has gotten even stranger. Tea party candidate Joe Miller is facing mounting criticism after members of his private security team handcuffed a reporter Sunday night at a public town hall event at an Anchorage middle school.

According to the Anchorage Daily News, Tony Hopfinger of Alaska Dispatch was trying to ask Miller about his departure from Fairbanks North Star Borough when he was surrounded by private security personnel who told Hopfinger to leave. As Miller escaped out the side door and a mob enveloped the reporter, Hopfinger said he felt threatened by the men in dark suits and crew cuts and pushed one away. Hopfinger says he was immediately shoved against a wall with his hands behind his back as steel handcuffs were put on his wrists by guards who dragged him into the hallway.

While Hopfinger was still in handcuffs, the guards attempted to prevent other reporters from talking to him and threatened them too with arrest for trespass. A Daily News reporter interviewed Hopfinger anyway. No other reporters were arrested, though a few shoving matches and chest bumps ensued as the guards attempted to cordon off Hopfinger and block photographs and videos from being taken of the bizarre school scene.

Looking ahead to 2012 (already?)

Barack Obama isn't even halfway through his first term, and politicos across the country have already started talking about the Republicans who will try to replace him in 2012. Consequently, I've compiled an analysis of where the GOP primary race stands, and how it will change over the next two years. Of course, there are several unresolved variables which could profoundly impact the 2012 election, and this post will attempt to identify and examine as many as possible.

Palin was against robocalls, until she started making them

Remember when Sarah Palin used to give actual interviews to the media other than Fox? I know it's been a while, but try to think back -- all the way back to October 2008, when Palin told reporters the McCain campaign's automated robocalls "irritate" voters, and that she wouldn't use them if she called the shots.

Palin said that if she had her way, the McCain campaign and the Republican National Committee would not be flooding battleground states with automated phone calls tying Barack Obama to former radical William Ayers, as they have done over the last week.

Calling robocalls "kind of draining out there in terms of Americans' attention span," Palin went on to say voters "get a bit irritated with just being inundated" by the pre-recorded campaign calls. No kidding.

GOP official caught breaking SC campaign laws

South Carolina isn't exactly unfamiliar with boneheaded politicians who think they can get away with anything, and it looks like Republican state Treasurer Converse Chellis and his deputy, GOP operative Scott Malyerck, are no different. It seems Chellis and Malyerck visited the Spartanburg Herald-Journal last week to meet with the editors about a possible endorsement in the June 8 primary election. But in a blunder that would make Mark Sanford proud, Chellis may have instead exposed serious violations of state law during his interview with editor Lane Filler:

About 20 minutes into the sit-down, Chellis was summarizing what his agency does on a day-to-day basis. He explained how his agency functions for several minutes, ending with an explanation of what Malyerck's department does, at which point alarms started chiming.

"You work for the Treasurer's Office?" [Filler] asked Malyerck.

Malyerck: "Yes."

[Filler]: "Then what are you doing here?"

Henry McMaster: Playing Politics With His Office?

South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster has been in the news a lot lately for leading a group of state attorneys general in a federal lawsuit seeking to overturn President Obama's health care reform law. McMaster knows it, too -- he produced a video of his many teevee appearances saying health care reform threatens our "liberty, freedom and sovereignty," which are "held by a thread" (presumably by McMaster?):

If the 2008 Presidential Election Was a Pokemon Match

For best results, have this playing in another window while you read this.

Sarah Palin goes from bad to worse

Watching the news lately, it's not hard to get the impression that Sarah Palin is dumber than a box of rocks. Take this article in Politico, in which Jonathan Martin casually mentions the fact that in last week's interview with Katie Couric, Palin was unable to discuss or even name a single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade.

Let's pause for a minute to let that sink in. Not a single court case other than Roe v. Wade.

Really? Not even Bush v. Gore? Republicans should love that one. What about Brown v. Board of Education? Miranda v. Arizona? At this point I would even have been happy with the "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case or Nix v. Hedden, the landmark decision in which the Court tackled the age-old question of whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable.

And keep in mind, Katie Couric didn't ask Palin to discuss the long-term ramifications of 1819's McCullough v. Maryland. She just asked the good governor to name a single case, and Palin sat there silently. You know, come to think of it, perhaps I'm being unfair to the rocks.

Now it looks like Fox News is giving Sarah Palin a do-over so she can re-answer all the questions she horribly mangled over the last two weeks. Apparently when you know the questions ahead of time, you can study some Supreme Court cases and learn their names. Obviously this is exactly the same as stealing the exam the night before the test (the vice-presidency doesn't come with a Mulligan), but that's not the issue here.

Buried in the article, Palin says the following:

As we send our young men and women overseas in a war zone to fight for democracy and freedoms, including freedom of the press, we've really got to have a mutually beneficial relationship here with those fighting the freedom of the press, and then the press, though not taking advantage and exploiting a situation, perhaps they would want to capture and abuse the privilege.

Excuse me? The press abuses its freedoms that the troops fight for? As a member of the press, it's no hyperbole when I say this offends me on the deepest possible level. Because we support an active fourth estate as the best way to maintain an open government, we're abusing our freedom?

There are almost no words to describe what an idiotic statement this is. The fact that an elected official, much less a candidate for the vice-presidency, would ever insinuate such a thing is morally reprehensible -- not just on her, but on every man and woman in America who would even consider supporting her, thus supporting her views. That's a pretty strong statement, so let me be clear: by suggesting the press abuses its freedom, she is thereby insinuating she supports limits on that freedom. There's no leap to be made here; it's simple logic.

There's a reason the Framers put that amendment first, but don't ask me. Ask Thomas Jefferson, who had a few things to say on freedom of the press:

"Our liberty cannot be guarded but by the freedom of the press, nor that be limited without danger of losing it." (To John Jay, 1786)

"The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure." (To the Marquis de Lafayette, 1823)

So I think it's pretty clear where he stands, and the disdain he would have for someone of Palin's mindset. But then, I doubt Palin has ever bothered to read anything by the Framers, so it's kind of a moot point.

Even setting aside her staggering ignorance -- and you shouldn't -- Sarah Palin's governmental and social advocacies are a slippery slope, the bottom of which I can't even imagine. I pray America never has to.