Friday, April 22, 2011

Tennessee bans scary dogs from state capitol

Rest easy, America. Tennessee legislators are taking time away from their busy schedule of criminalizing Sharia law, promoting creationism and banning use of the word "gay" in public schools so they can focus on issues that matter.

Namely, they're tackling the grave problem of creepy dogs outside the state capitol.

Rep. JoAnne Favors, D-Chattanooga, is apparently so afraid of dogs that the mere sight of one walking "back and forth" sends her into a state of apoplectic terror. “My blood pressure shot up, and that was just a normal reaction to fear," she said on Monday. "If someone had approached you with a gun, you would have experienced the same thing.”

The difference, of course, is that while Tennessee lawmakers are doing everything they can to let people carry guns in state-run facilities such as universities, Favors' horrifying ordeal led to an immediate bipartisan ban on animals in the legislative plaza. Who says ideological opponents can't work together?

Meanwhile, the current unemployment rate in Tennessee is 9.5%. So while people in the Volunteer State still can't find a job, at least they have peace of mind knowing their representatives are protecting them from scary Muslims, scary evolutionists, scary gays, and now scary dogs.